HA HA

http://www.doheth.co.uk/funny/google

I'm aware what the rules are, but you know that I will run

Why are there no pictures of Cyndi Lauper hanging out with Tori Amos? I want them to hang out. Maybe I should do this thing where I trick them both into meeting at the same place, and they'll hang out, or maybe I can hang out with Tori and get Cyndi to agree to just show up to where we're hanging out, or I can pretend to be a cab driver and drive Cyndi Lauper to Tori Amos' house instead of where I'm supposed to drive her.

Biz Markie's BEAT OF THE DAAAAAAYYY!!!

CHOPD N SCREWD!!! JUST A FRIEND!!


HALLOWEEN BEAT OF THE DAY!!!

This is soooo funny!

Things I Remember, 24 hour version

• Yesterday while I was walking home, these two guys in a pickup truck who had just gone through the drive-thru of Taco Bell drove quickly past me and down Sacremento, and the passengertard yelled out the window, "Where'd you get that shit, Men's Warehouse? HAHA!"
• While at the main library downtown, a kid told his mom he wanted to get a bunch of books there and give them to people as Christmas presents. Then she set him straight on the library biz.
• Some old guy outside the library asked if my coat was British or American. I said probably American because it had eagles on the buttons and was manufactured in South Jersey. He said there's a whole society of people who wear and collect authentic WWII coats and things and that mine might be worth money if it's in good condition, which it is, besides the fact that I moved some buttons around and resewed them.
• Some chess enthusiasts were having a mini-tournament at Coffee Time and this one dork did a Count Chocula impression the whole time.
  
• I was at Cinema 21 around midnight because I thought there was a party either there or across the street at the bar. I thought I saw Seth walking down the sidewalk toward me, but it was just this crazy old homeless guy who was dressed like Seth and looked like him. Or maybe it was him doing a crazy old homeless guy impression. Then I went across the street and tried to buy a hot dog from two middle-aged punk rock girls, but they were three dollars and I only had two. There was a homeless guy pretending to shoot an air-machine-gun at the hot dog ladies. I then went to the bar that I thought the party might be at, but it turned out to be a gay karaoke bar and there were two guys rubbing against each other and singing some song, so I asked the doorman if the shoe party was there and he said no. Maybe that was the party last night. I guess tonight was the Auteur party or something, I'm all mixed up.
  

This is the kind of thing you do when you're awesome!

I've given into my love of m.lew

why do I love her so much? I think she's adorable and quaint. She's on my list of celebrities that I'm SURE I'd get along with really well (Dolly Parton, Mandy Moore, Roseanne, Goldie Hawn). Why?? Is it all about the bjs? Maybe it's the hats and the bows. I loved them before Blair came into my life. But you've gotta admit that's she's kinda the confused fat older sister of Blair Waldorf who turned into a girl with low self-esteem and just wants a little nice male attention. And Bill Clinton is a fucking fox. Silver fox. Out of older men, he's a gem. She knows what she likes and she goes for it (g-string anyone?). Also, you can tell she's dirty. I bet she basically invented dirty talk. I bet she does it really smoothly, like one second she's like "oh yes mr. president I'll get those forms on your desk by tomorrow," but then the next second she says, "now I want you to take that cigar and put it deep in my vag. BTW did you see my g-string? Bite it."




she's totally sweet and adorable and I'd invite her to a girl party any day. She BJd the PRESIDENT! think of the stories she could tell. Plus she makes handbags now. I bet she's a great shopping buddy.

This is my room.